I give up.

All this trying to become something, someone.

All this trying to control my life and push it in a certain direction.

All this wanting to find solutions and answers and plans that I can stick to.

All this being productive and effective and wanting to figure everything out.

It feels like I am hitting my head against a wall that never breaks. It is exhausting.

I just can’t do it anymore.

So, I give up.

I give up being someone.

I give up achieving something.

I give up my ideas about myself.

I give up my ideas about the world.

For now.

And I let myself slip beneath my thoughts, into the silence. I just want to sit here for a while, doing nothing. Just listening. Just watching life unfold.

“Stop weaving, and watch how the pattern improves”, says Rumi. This is my prayer for today.

May I surrender to the sweet fragrance of the lilacs.

May I surrender to the quiet humming of the washing machine.

May I surrender to the openness of the sky and to every single leaf on the old apple tree.

No trying today.

No fighting, no rushing, no forcing, no defining, no selling, no worrying, no pushing.

I do not know anything.

I do not need any answers.

I just want to sit here for a while.

Let everything be itself.

And see what happens.